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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Trending via YouTube:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Live now on Threads:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Just shared via WeChat:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Just landed via Slack:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Just landed via Reddit:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Spotted on Discord:

You only live once and thank God for that.

157 Funny best quotes

More funny best quotes 👇

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

3 months ago

best, best friend, choice, crazy, friend, friends, friendship, humor, know, loyalty, public, still
Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

3 months ago

best, humor, me, mom, talking, time
Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

3 months ago

best, chat, communication, dog, dogs, friend, group, group chat, humor, loyalty
The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

3 months ago

advice, best, confused, confusion, dating, dating advice, ever, humor, know, love, need, piece, relationship
Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

3 months ago

accident, accidentally, always, asleep, best, couch, falling, funny observation, nap, observation, relaxation, sleep, tiredness
That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

3 months ago

actually, anticipation, best, excitement, finding, got, job, job start, job transition, life, life moment, moment, new, new job, period, start, starting, times, transition
The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

4 months ago

70s, 80s, 90s, best, decade, decades, evidence, humor, memory, nostalgia

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

22 shares on Threads this month:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Seen just now on Messenger:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Just landed via Facebook:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Going viral on Twitch:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Activity Log ✨

157 Funny best quotes

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All funny best quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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