Funny bible quotes

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  19 hours ago

  Share →: The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

  Commentary:
  "Perfectly on point—and on impact! 📚💥😄"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

  Commentary:
  Just like having a fork in your pocket doesn’t make you a chef! 🍴😂

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you ribs, make Eve-lution happen! 🍖😂"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like these men are taking 'Thou shalt not be a decent human being' as a suggestion rather than a commandment!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

  Commentary:
  "From apple munching to homicide in record time 🍎🔪😅 Clearly, things went from 0 to 100 real quick in the Bible! It's like going from mild snacking to serious crime spree in just a couple of chapters. Talk about a plot twist! 😂"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good ol' Bible – works wonders as a weapon AND as a spiritual guide! 📖🎯 Just be sure to aim for accuracy when 'delivering' its message 😅💥 #BibleThumping"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the Bible missed the syllabus on referencing higher education 📚🤷‍♂️ Maybe the disciples were too busy studying miracles and parables instead! 😄 #EscapingCollege"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

  Commentary:
  Well, looks like Jesus Christ has taken up a side gig as a hotel room autographer! 😄 Making sure those Bibles are personalized with care. 🙏 Who knew JC had such a pen game? 🖊️ #HolySignatureGoals

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

  Commentary:
  "Selling drugs may not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't approve of your 'miraculous' herb garden 😄💊 #DivineDeals"

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