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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,916

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Live now on Pinterest:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Shared recently on TikTok:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Going bananas on X:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Going viral on Instagram:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Going viral on Messenger:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

11 Funny brains quotes

Funny brains quotes 🧠😂 are the perfect way to tickle your mind and boost your mood! Whether you’re feeling clever or just a little bit silly, these witty sayings mix smarts with laughs 🤓🎉. Get ready to giggle, ponder, and maybe even question your own brainpower — all while having a blast! Let’s dive into some brainy humor that’s sure to spark joy and creativity 💡🤣.

New funny brains quotes 👇

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

0

3 weeks ago

around, brain, brains, diarrhea, everyone, going, humor, just, mouth, nonsense, place, talking, vomiting, whatever
Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

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2 months ago

anxiety, brain, brains, humor, panic, relax, something, stress, Sunday, want, weekend, weird
Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

0

2 months ago

awesome, brain, brains, humor, i, intelligence, sarcasm, self-deprecation, wish, wit
Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

0

2 months ago

20, brain, brains, clue, email, every, forget, forgetfulness, Funny, got, humor, i, irony, memory, password, remember, song, word
If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

0

2 months ago

brains, fall, fall out, humor, irony, open-minded, perspective, too, wit
People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, brain, brains, head, heads, humor, inside, irony, just, maybe, people
Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

0

2 months ago

always, benefit, brain, brains, brainwashing, horrible, terrible, wash
That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, brain, brains, funny situation, humor, joke, looking, moment, past, right, situation, survival, walking, walks, zombie
It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

0

2 months ago

brain, brains, cognition, forgetfulness, funny observation, humor, irony, memory, observation, remember, something
That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

0

2 months ago

brains, fear, humor, irony, moment, past, situation, surprise, walking, walks, zombie

For even more funny brains quotes, hit next 👇

All funny brains quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on X this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

77 shares on X this month:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Strict parents raise good liars.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Just shared via Facebook:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Just shared via Discord:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Just shared via Telegram:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Just landed via Threads:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

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