16 funny brother quotes - Wordgag ツ

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Feb 3, 2026

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Feb 3, 2026

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Feb 2, 2026

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Feb 2, 2026

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Feb 2, 2026

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Jan 31, 2026

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Jan 30, 2026

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Jan 29, 2026

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Jan 23, 2026

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Jan 22, 2026

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Jan 22, 2026

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Jan 21, 2026

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Jan 21, 2026

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Jan 20, 2026

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Jan 18, 2026

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Jan 18, 2026