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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Making waves on YouTube:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Spotted on Facebook:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Going viral on Reddit:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Going bananas on Discord:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

16 Funny brother quotes

Funny brother quotes bring all the laughs and sibling love in one perfect package 😄👦 Whether you’re celebrating endless teasing, goofy moments, or unforgettable adventures, these witty lines capture the unique bond between brothers like no other 🎉💙 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even roast your brother a little with these playful gems! 😂🔥

New funny brother quotes 👇

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

0

9 hours ago

brother, card, Christmas, exchange, gift, gift card, gift exchange, give, holiday, holiday humor, humor, i, me, special, time
Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

0

3 weeks ago

believe, brother, brothers, childhood, humor, i, Kane, kid, kids, let, misconception, Santa, undertaker, wrestling
For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

0

1 month ago

broth, brother, called, cooking, even, family, guy, humor, never, once, pun, seen, wordplay
Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

0

1 month ago

brother, conversation, dinner, dinner conversation, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, humor, issue, issues, me, nicely, pair, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, unresolved, unresolved issue, wine
My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

0

2 months ago

asked, birthday, birthday party, brother, favorite, hand, i, invitation, me, mom, party, realization, surprise, surprise party, twin
Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

0

2 months ago

arts, brother, bruce, Bruce Lee, comedy, faster, humor, joke, lee, martial, martial arts, older, speed, sudden, Sudden Lee, wordplay
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, brother, childhood, dance, family, humor, i, sister, waiting
Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

0

2 months ago

addiction, agree, brother, call, family, gambling, humor, intervention, joke, shaming, slot
“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

0

2 months ago

account, balance, brother, humor, life, live, low, struggle, wait
My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

0

2 months ago

activity, brother, charcuterie, food, humor, me, sibling, sister, skateboard, snowboard

For even more funny brother quotes, hit next 👇

All funny brother quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Discord this month:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

60 shares on Discord this month:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Trending via TikTok:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Seen just now on Discord:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Trending via TikTok:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Making waves on Slack:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Spotted on Discord:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Trending via Discord:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

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