Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Cancel culture has been canceled.

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.