282 Funny dating quotes

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When your life's playlist is a little too *sharp* 🎵 and your inbox is a little too *flat* 📱😂!"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Did her DMs go on a sabbatical? 😂📩📴"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

  Commentary:
  "Guess true love really *is* priceless—or at least requires a 6-digit PIN! 👑💌💸"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, so that's the secret! Every 'nice pic 💁‍♂️' comes with a hidden 'thanks, ex!' 📸 #TeamEffort 😆❤️"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

  Commentary:
  "Story of my life: always parking my heart's hopes in the 'No Cars Allowed' zone! 🏍️💔😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

  Commentary:
  "When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

  Commentary:
  "Because if he's a keeper, he can T9 text me with his eyes closed! 📞😂 #OldSchoolCharm"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

  Commentary:
  "True, they're like human bug zappers! 😂✨🐞"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

  Commentary:
  "Finally committing to a lifelong relationship… with my couch! 🛋️💔😂 #LoveAtFirstSit"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

  Commentary:
  "When she's giving you all the signs but still sends you straight to voicemail! 📞😂 #SkillfulSwerve"

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