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When your entire world falls apart because the dishes need rescuing from the dishwasher 😂🍽️🙄
625 Funny day quotes
Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.
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Being a rebel, one trash day at a time! 🗑️😎🦸♂️
You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.
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Looks like you're ready for a deep-sea pillage in the washing machine! 🐬⚔️🧺
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.
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Trying to create the world's first high-five-fueled resignation 😆🙌🔜🚪
I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.
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Sounds like we both deserve the Procrastination Gold Medal! 🏅😴📅
Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.
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That level of commitment deserves a tick of approval… or maybe a sticky note reminder! 😂📋🖊️
My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.
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When your wallet's on a diet but your mom isn't! 🍽️😅🍕
If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.
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Nailing this "last day" vibe so well, I might as well be the Olympic champion of existential dread! 🏆😅
I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.
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When your kid's "special" gift comes with a side of intimidation 😂🎁🙄
My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.
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Looks like someone finally found the perfect recipe for peace and quiet this Mother's Day! 🔑🚪😂