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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Live now on Twitch:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Going bananas on Discord:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Going viral on Telegram:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

19 Funny December quotes

Funny December quotes capture the end-of-year whimsy and holiday cheer. 🎄😂 As the year winds down and festive celebrations begin, these quotes offer a humorous take on the winter season and all its quirks. Enjoy the lighter side of December with these funny December quotes! 😄❄️

New funny December quotes 👇

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

0

5 days ago

ask, before, December, email, holiday, holiday season, January, management, problem, procrastination, season, send, time, time management, yourself
We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

0

1 week ago

31st, Christmas, countdown, date, December, end, end of year, holiday, humor, new, new year, period, time, time period, void, year
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

0

2 weeks ago

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

0

2 weeks ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law
This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

0

2 weeks ago

December, holiday, humor, month, repetition, seasonal, time, wordplay
There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

0

3 weeks ago

back, busy, busy schedule, canceled, cancellation, circling, December, happening, humor, meeting, meetings, much, next, procrastination, schedule, too, where, why, work, year
I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

0

3 weeks ago

afford, budget, calculation, December, finance, holiday, holiday spending, humor, i, money, only, pray, prayer, spending
My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

0

4 weeks ago

Christmas, December, decoration, decorations, easier, family, family life, holiday, house, humor, husband, life, moved, moving, said, taking
Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

0

4 weeks ago

boss, capture, childlike, childlike joy, December, excuse, holiday, holiday spirit, humor, i, joy, procrastination, sorry, spirit, today, trying, work
“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

0

1 month ago

1st, 24th, before, calendar, Christmas, date, December, December 24th, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, January, January 1st, just, means, new, new year, nightmare, season, The Nightmare Before Christmas, year

For even more funny December quotes, hit next 👇

All funny December quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Relationship status: he escaped.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

93 shares on X this month:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

58 shares on Threads this month:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

87 shares on Instagram this month:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Making waves on WeChat:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Just landed via Discord:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Shared recently on X:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Live now on Discord:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Trending via Facebook:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Just landed via Telegram:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Trending via X:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

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