250 Funny even quotes

• At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

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  3 weeks ago

  30, 30s, age, battery, charge, energy, even, exhaustion, hours, humor, me, midday, old, phone

• Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

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  3 weeks ago

  absurdity, doing, even, hair, humor, ingrown, question, self-reflection

• I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

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  3 weeks ago

  being, choice, decisions, even, evil, good, humor, ID, irony, means, never, pick, politics

• So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

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  3 weeks ago

  birthday, boy, celebration, consequences, drinking, DUI, even, humor, irony, party, still

• I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

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  3 weeks ago

  annoyance, disgusting, even, fly, hands, hate, humor, i, insect, little, open, plotting, rub, together, window

• Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

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  3 weeks ago

  Adam, babysitter, biblical, eve, even, humor, i, irony, parenting, sometimes, think

• I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

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  3 weeks ago

  account, attitude, bank, bank account, card, carefree, carefree attitude, check, even, financial, financial struggle, god’s will, gods, humor, i, just, money, spending, struggle, swipe, swipe card

• Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

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  3 weeks ago

  30, building, even, foot, height, humor, irony, just, nature, permit, regulation, tree

• “Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

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  3 weeks ago

  bad, bad day, coping, countdown, day, even, Friday, having, humor, least, me, optimism, relatable, tomorrow, Wednesday, weekend, well, workweek, worse

• 20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

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  3 weeks ago

  20s, 40s, adulthood, age, changes, drinking, even, forty, fridge, hangover, humor, life, life changes, open, sunglasses, twenty

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