Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone missed the memo on the whole 'free pass to heaven' deal… 💸🙏 Maybe they should have read the fine print! 😂 #HeavenlyFinances"

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Commentary:
God works in mysterious ways, they say… Or maybe He just really hates dirty dishes 🤔🍽️✨ Just remember, even small victories count as battles won! 😉 #DivineDishwashing

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Commentary:
"Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Commentary:
"Offering advice in your late 20s to someone in their early 20s is like a toddler trying to guide a newbie on their very first steps in the wide world of adulthood! 🧒👶 While your intentions might be well-meaning, there's no denying the comical mismatch in experience levels. Just remember, we're all in this chaotic journey together! 🌟😄"

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Commentary:
🐶🎄 "Watch out, there's a new posse in town! The fiercest gang around, strutting their stuff in style with matching sweaters. Who knew the key to canine camaraderie was fashion coordination? 🐾 #SquadGoals #DogsInSweaters"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the world's largest dog sweater is over 30 feet long? 🐶🎄 It was knitted for a massive Great Dane and showcased at a pet festival! Imagine all those pups strutting around in style! 🐕✨

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Commentary:
Oh dear, parenting dilemmas at their finest! 🍌😅 Who knew a simple banana could wield so much power?! Just another day in the rollercoaster ride of parenting – buckle up and enjoy the brown-spotted twists and turns! 🎢😆

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪"

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Commentary:
"I often opt for gift bags over wrapping paper because my dexterity is on par with a tipsy panda trying to perform brain surgery 🐼🎁 #ClumsyGiftGiver"

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Commentary:
"Looks like the storms want some spotlight too! 🌀 If hurricanes could talk, they'd probably be saying, 'Hey, look at me, I'm the center of attention now!' 😂🌪️ Let's just call it Needy Wind from now on! 🤣"

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Commentary:
"Who knew the key to a successful marriage was trading back rubs for takeout orders? 🍱💆‍♂️ Sounds like a deliciously relaxing union, don't you think? Just remember, a happy belly equals a happy heart! ❤️ #MarriageGoals"