Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Commentary:
"Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"
6 months ago
Share →: Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Commentary:
"Offering advice in your late 20s to someone in their early 20s is like a toddler trying to guide a newbie on their very first steps in the wide world of adulthood! 🧒👶 While your intentions might be well-meaning, there's no denying the comical mismatch in experience levels. Just remember, we're all in this chaotic journey together! 🌟😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Commentary:
🐶🎄 "Watch out, there's a new posse in town! The fiercest gang around, strutting their stuff in style with matching sweaters. Who knew the key to canine camaraderie was fashion coordination? 🐾 #SquadGoals #DogsInSweaters"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the world's largest dog sweater is over 30 feet long? 🐶🎄 It was knitted for a massive Great Dane and showcased at a pet festival! Imagine all those pups strutting around in style! 🐕✨
6 months ago
Share →: It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Commentary:
Oh dear, parenting dilemmas at their finest! 🍌😅 Who knew a simple banana could wield so much power?! Just another day in the rollercoaster ride of parenting – buckle up and enjoy the brown-spotted twists and turns! 🎢😆
6 months ago
Share →: When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪"
6 months ago
Share →: I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Commentary:
"I often opt for gift bags over wrapping paper because my dexterity is on par with a tipsy panda trying to perform brain surgery 🐼🎁 #ClumsyGiftGiver"
6 months ago
Share →: We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Commentary:
"Looks like the storms want some spotlight too! 🌀 If hurricanes could talk, they'd probably be saying, 'Hey, look at me, I'm the center of attention now!' 😂🌪️ Let's just call it Needy Wind from now on! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Commentary:
"Who knew the key to a successful marriage was trading back rubs for takeout orders? 🍱💆‍♂️ Sounds like a deliciously relaxing union, don't you think? Just remember, a happy belly equals a happy heart! ❤️ #MarriageGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Commentary:
Oh, the drama of mixing business formalities with a touch of royal charm! 👑 Perhaps HR just needs a little dose of regal flair in their inbox to spice up their day! 💼✉️🤣 #OfficeRoyalty
6 months ago
Share →: Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Commentary:
"Kids these days, always so generous! 😷🤒 Who needs gifts when you can get a cold instead? Talk about a special delivery! 🎁😂 #ParentingPerks"