34 Funny giving quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

  Commentary:
  "I often opt for gift bags over wrapping paper because my dexterity is on par with a tipsy panda trying to perform brain surgery 🐼🎁 #ClumsyGiftGiver"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the storms want some spotlight too! 🌀 If hurricanes could talk, they'd probably be saying, 'Hey, look at me, I'm the center of attention now!' 😂🌪️ Let's just call it Needy Wind from now on! 🤣"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the key to a successful marriage was trading back rubs for takeout orders? 🍱💆‍♂️ Sounds like a deliciously relaxing union, don't you think? Just remember, a happy belly equals a happy heart! ❤️ #MarriageGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the drama of mixing business formalities with a touch of royal charm! 👑 Perhaps HR just needs a little dose of regal flair in their inbox to spice up their day! 💼✉️🤣 #OfficeRoyalty

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

  Commentary:
  "Kids these days, always so generous! 😷🤒 Who needs gifts when you can get a cold instead? Talk about a special delivery! 🎁😂 #ParentingPerks"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic "you can't miss it" directions – it's like a challenge for those of us with a knack for getting lost 🤷‍♂️🗺️ Who knew getting lost could lead to such amusing adventures! Just remember, if you do happen to find your way back to them, consider giving them some navigational pointers 😉🤣

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

  Commentary:
  Don't you just love the power of proper punctuation? 😂 Looks like someone accidentally declared war on chocolate! 🍫 Hold strong, brave soul. May your resolve stay as firm as that rock-hard chocolate bar you're avoiding!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the 'financial generosity' approach – making it rain without checking the weather forecast! 💸☔️ Well, at least you're spreading that money love around, right? 😜💰 #MoneyMatters"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

  Commentary:
  "Whales be like: 'Sorry, can't talk, I'm on a sabbatical from opinions 🐋✨' Who knew these majestic creatures were the ultimate masters of silence and contemplation! Maybe we should take a cue from them and practice some 'whale wisdom' in our daily lives. Just keep swimming, dear humans, and save those opinions for a rainy day! 🙊🌊"

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