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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,769

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Making waves on YouTube:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Making waves on Instagram:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

40 Funny glasses quotes

More funny glasses quotes 👇

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, daily, daily life, falling, glasses, headphones, humor, i, keep, life, mishap, technology
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

0

2 months ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

0

2 months ago

bad, friend, glasses, Greg, humor, i, investigative, investigative journalist, journalist, lane, lois, Lois Lane, lunch, recognition, saying, time, wear, work, yesterday
Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

0

2 months ago

folks, glasses, humor, money, pay, people, respect
I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

0

2 months ago

benefit, comeback, dance, dance move, enjoy, enjoyment, glass, glasses, health, health benefit, humor, i, move, moves, night, night routine, routine, wine, witty, witty comeback
Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

0

2 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, cooking mishap, fail, funny moment, glasses, humiliation, i, just, kitchen, mishap, moment, sight, steam
I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

0

2 months ago

being, cleaning, feel, glasses, humor, i, joy, know, never, package, perspective, sorry, UHD, upgrade, vision
I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

0

2 months ago

comparison, glasses, humor, i, joke, preference, thick, transparent, uneven, women
Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

0

2 months ago

best, dining, forgetfulness, forgot, glasses, hoping, humor, menu, mishap, pointing, random, spot
I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

0

2 months ago

away, bunny, flew, glasses, humor, i, meadow, need, observation, saying, today, vision

For even more funny glasses quotes, hit next 👇

All funny glasses quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

100 shares on Messenger this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Going viral on X:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Trending via Slack:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Making waves on Slack:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Live now on Snapchat:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Just landed via Reddit:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Trending via Snapchat:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Activity Log ✨

40 Funny glasses quotes

More funny glasses quotes 👇

All funny glasses quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨