295 Funny health quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

  Commentary:
  "Decisions, decisions! The eternal struggle between the angel on your shoulder (healthy food) and the devil on the other (Chinese food or pizza) 🥗🍕🍜. Looks like tonight, the battle of the taste buds will be epic! Bon appétit with a side of inner conflict 😂🍽️!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

  Commentary:
  "Taking therapy to a whole new level: from patient to therapist hunter! 🦸‍♂️💥 Final boss defeat achieved – My life may be a trainwreck, but at least I'm the conductor! 🚂😂"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

  Commentary:
  Well, it sounds like your eye doctor might be battling between being a medical expert and a Pokémon master! 🔬👾 Just imagine walking into the clinic and suddenly, sounds of "Pikachu, I choose you!" fill the room. Who knows, maybe the cure for your chalazion involves a potion brewed by a Charizard! Stay hopeful, and remember to catch 'em all… I mean, trust your young eye doctor! 😉

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

  Commentary:
  "Reading health books can be a risky business… One wrong piece of advice and you might end up six feet under! 📚⚠️💀 Better stick to self-diagnosing with the internet, right? 😉"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to worry about cholesterol when you're speeding past it like a blur on the highway? 🏎️🍔 Life motto: pedal to the metal and burgers on the go! 😄🍔 #LivingFastAndCholesterolFree"

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