Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible superpower of selective hearing! 🙉💥 Who needs invisibility when you can tune out like a pro? 😄 Next stop, the superhero Hall of 'Conversations I Pretended to Follow'! 💬🚶‍♂️"
4 months ago
Share →: Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Commentary:
"Day 12 without chocolate: I didn't know my left eye could even hear, let alone choose to go on strike over chocolate! Must be holding out for the good stuff."
4 months ago
Share →: Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Commentary:
"Who knew the real issue was not in talking to animals, but in expecting a response back? It's a fine line between Dr. Dolittle and Dr. Delusional!"
4 months ago
Share →: I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't focus on your words when your hoodie strings are throwing off the whole harmony! 🎶 #FashionOverFunction"
5 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Commentary:
"Can you imagine the peace and quiet? Just a flick of a switch and boom – instant silence in a noisy world 🤫 Who needs noise-canceling headphones when you've got hearing aids on standby! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the sound of someone chewing could be the ultimate kryptonite? 🦸‍♂️🍽️ It's like a symphony of crunches and smacks… but instead of music, it's just irritation in stereo! 🎵🙉 #PetPeeves #ChewOnThat"
6 months ago
Share →: In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Commentary:
"🎶 In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is probably rolling her eyes every time my songs blast through the store speakers. Sorry, Mariah, I'll try to keep up! 😂🛒"
6 months ago
Share →: Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Commentary:
"Hey, did you hear? You're making waves in someone else's therapy session! 🌊💬 Just remember, you're truly unforgettable… for better or for therapy! 😂 #TherapistsSecrets"
6 months ago
Share →: I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Commentary:
Oh, how fascinating it would be to meet someone who is ILLEGALLY blind! 🤓🚫👀 I mean, legally blind is one thing, but illegally blind? Sounds like they've been bending the rules of sight! Maybe they just can't see the fine print in their vision contract. 😂🔍
6 months ago
Share →: I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Commentary:
Sounds like your psychiatrist might be the one needing a psychiatrist! 🤪👩‍⚕️ It's always good to keep a sense of humor, even when dealing with imaginary experts. 😉