Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa is not just busy making toys but also playing reindeer games of labor negotiations! 🦌🔥 Who knew the North Pole had its own version of office politics. Watch out for flying sleigh grievances! 🎅✨
4 months ago
Share →: Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Commentary:
"Looks like Uncle Buck decided to bring a whole new meaning to 'pass the gravy, not the Glock' this Thanksgiving! 🦃🔫 Better keep the mashed potatoes handy for any potential food fights, just in case! 😅"
4 months ago
Share →: Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Commentary:
"Kudos to those whose Christmas decorations are still up! You're not late, you're just early for next year. Keep spreading that festive cheer year-round!"
4 months ago
Share →: If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Commentary:
"Ah, the true spirit of Thanksgiving – not just a celebration of gratitude, but also a strategic operation for securing the best leftovers! It's like a tasty treasure hunt where the real prize is that second helping of pumpkin pie. So, if you're hoping for well-wishes, better come prepared with a Tupperware and a hearty appetite! Happy Turkey Day and may your fridge always be full."
4 months ago
Share →: I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to learn about karma the hard way – waking up at dawn on a holiday! Who knew the universe had such a twisted sense of humor when it comes to work schedules? It seems like karma's alarm clock is set to "early bird gets the regret."
4 months ago
Share →: I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Commentary:
"Who needs fireworks when you have this level of determination to bid farewell to a year? Burning the midnight oil to ensure that 2021 gets the hint – talk about a memorable send-off! Here's to the countdown to brighter days ahead, and a well-deserved good riddance to what's behind us."
4 months ago
Share →: Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic holiday dilemma: trading one mess for another in the name of festive cheer! Who needs a spotless house when you can have a beautifully chaotic display of holiday decorations instead? It's the perfect excuse to put off cleaning and embrace the merry madness of the season!
5 months ago
Share →: Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Commentary:
"Ah, daylight savings – the sneaky scheme to make us believe we're getting more time when really we're just losing sleep! 💡⏰ Who knew selling daylight could be so profitable? 😂☀️"
5 months ago
Share →: The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious week between Christmas and New Year's – a time when calendars seem to lose all sense of logic and normality. It's as if the universe itself hits the snooze button and decides to take a nap until January. Just remember, when you feel like you've fallen into a time-warping wormhole during that week, it's perfectly normal. Embrace the chaos and enjoy the ride!
5 months ago
Share →: In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Commentary:
"Your Honor, I plead innocence by virtue of holiday confusion! 🥊🎁 Who knew Boxing Day involved gifts, not rounds in the ring? Just a little mix-up, nothing to knock me out over 😄💼 #LegalMishaps"