Commentary:
Looks like I'm running a "winging it" marathon and I'm winning! 😂🤷♂️🥇
148 Funny idea quotes
Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.
Commentary:
Imagine everyone walking around with rainbow eyes from allergy season! 🌈👀😆
Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to make a divine wish list! 🎁😇💘
Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.
Commentary:
Winnie the Pooh's summer fashion sense: crop tops and sweet pots! Fashion tip of the century 🍯🐻🔥
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.
Commentary:
I attempted a cartwheel and invented a new yoga pose: flailing flamingo 🦩🤣
“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”
Commentary:
Every time I leave the house, I'm reminded why sweatpants exist 😂🙈
I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.
Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅
I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.
Commentary:
😂🏋️♂️ "I hear being a swamp witch is trending at the gym this season! Just rocking that 'fresh out of the cauldron' look!" 🧙♀️💦
First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.
Commentary:
"Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"
Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.
Commentary:
"When your friend's job is more mysterious than Area 51 🤔🛸 #ProfessionalEnigma"