You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing. Posted on6 days ago
The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours. Posted on7 days ago
My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life. Posted on1 week ago
My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile. Posted on2 weeks ago
I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead. Posted on2 weeks ago
I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Posted on2 weeks ago
At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future. Posted on2 weeks ago
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago