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13 Funny illness quotes

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025
At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025
Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025
I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025
My cold is worse than yours because it's happening to me.

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025
You can make friends in a doctor's waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025
The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025
I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025
My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025