20 Funny illness quotes — Wordgag ツ

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

2 months ago2 months ago

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

2 months ago2 months ago

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

2 months ago2 months ago

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

2 months ago2 months ago

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

3 months ago3 months ago

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

3 months ago3 months ago

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

5 months ago5 months ago

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Mar 18, 2025

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Mar 18, 2025

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Mar 17, 2025

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Feb 3, 2025Feb 3, 2025

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Jan 28, 2025

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Jan 27, 2025

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Jan 26, 2025

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Jan 25, 2025

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Jan 25, 2025

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Jan 23, 2025

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Jan 23, 2025