1031 Funny joke quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

  Commentary:
  "Forget soulmates, I’m just looking for source-mates! 📚❤️🤣 #AcademicLove"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

  Commentary:
  "Forget counting sheep—I'm signing autographs! 🏆🐑😴"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

  Commentary:
  "Brb, taking my car for a 'check-up' — hope it doesn't need any band-aids! 🚗👨‍⚕️🤣"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸‍♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

  Commentary:
  "When your vape starts speaking binary code, you know you’ve entered the Matrix! 💨🤖🤣"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

  Commentary:
  "Guess it's time to face the music 🎶… and maybe pick up some kale while I'm at it! 🥬😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

  Commentary:
  "When life hands you a meteor, give birth to a T-Rex! 🦖💨😂"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

  Commentary:
  "Oops! Guess my 'eye contact' came with a free trial. 😜👀"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

  Commentary:
  "Right?! I mean, there's no way all those talented aliens are just extras! 👽🎬 #GiveAliensCredit"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

  Commentary:
  "When did I lose my genie privileges? 😂🧞‍♂️✨"

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