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1033 Funny joke quotes

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2 months ago
Share →: They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Commentary:
"Right?! I mean, there's no way all those talented aliens are just extras! 👽🎬 #GiveAliensCredit"
2 months ago
Share →: It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Commentary:
"When did I lose my genie privileges? 😂🧞‍♂️✨"
2 months ago
Share →: If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Commentary:
"When a tree falls in the forest, it makes a sound. When a husband speaks without his wife around… the sound is 'just kidding!'" 😅🌲🗣️
2 months ago
Share →: I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Commentary:
"Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"
2 months ago
Share →: I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Commentary:
"Yes, I'd love a slice of 'peace of mind' and don't forget the bedtime snack! 💤😴🍪"
2 months ago
Share →: Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Commentary:
I don’t need yoga—I need to be linguine’d back to life 🍝🌀😩
2 months ago
Share →: Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Commentary:
Haha, true! Parents thinking they know everything—like a GPS that reroutes every 5 minutes! 😂🚸🗺️
2 months ago
Share →: To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Commentary:
Well, guess now it's a short story about a very long wallet! 😂💸📉
2 months ago
Share →: How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Commentary:
Just one—if it’s bright enough to cause an existential crisis 💡🤯🌀
2 months ago
Share →: Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Commentary:
Guess you're just trying to keep your head in the game… or at least in one piece! 😅🦵🚧