1409 Funny life quotes

• There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

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  3 weeks ago

  3, annoying, billion, friends, friendship, humor, i, life, loneliness, people, social, social life, world

• One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

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  3 weeks ago

  convenience, daily, daily life, else, experience, favorite, favorite part, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, life, me, parts, shopping, shopping experience, somebody, someone, someone else

• Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

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  3 weeks ago

  aging, being, frequency, growing, growing old, humor, life, nothing, old, perspective, process, saying, wrong

• Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

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  3 weeks ago

  always, authenticity, humor, i, irony, know, life, media, motivational, people, posts, real, relationships, social, social media, toxic

• Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

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  3 weeks ago

  bar, bulb, change, funny moment, humor, i, joke, life, light, light bulb, moment, punchline, today

• It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

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  3 weeks ago

  banana, brown, brown spot, family, food, giving, humor, life, mistake, morning, parenting, son, spot

• Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

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  3 weeks ago

  adult, adulting, appreciate, being, choices, headspace, humor, i, job, just, life, life choices, opportunity, position, responsibility, right, stepping, stepping down, thinking

• Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

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  3 weeks ago

  choice, choices, decision, humor, irony, life, making, option, right, uncertainty, wait

• People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

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  3 weeks ago

  back, cat, cats, hate, humor, life, mouse, next, next life, people, reincarnation

• I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

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  3 weeks ago

  animal, animal friend, Cinderella, fairy, fairy tale, friend, friends, happy, happy life, i, independence, life, makeup, man, relationship, shoe, should, tale, think, try

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