Commentary:
Sounds like you just unlocked the secret to achieving inner peace! 😂🤐🙏
469 Funny never quotes
Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.
Commentary:
At least you won't be losing beauty sleep! 😴😂✨
“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”
Commentary:
Chasing toddlers with markers should be an Olympic sport! 🏃♂️🎨🤣
“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.
Commentary:
Oh yeah, "I'll see" is the ultimate RSVP for the socially averse 😂🚫🙅♂️
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to add "mind reader" to my resume… or maybe just "professional forgetter"! 🙃🧠🚶♂️
Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.
Commentary:
Revolutionary dating strategy: discover the mystery of a woman by asking absolutely nothing 😅🕵️♂️🙈
“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.
Commentary:
Looks like my brain needs to hire some extra staff! 📱🤯😂
My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.
Commentary:
Parenting: the ultimate extrovert marathon for introverts 🚶♂️😅🏃♂️🎉
So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.
Commentary:
The eternal struggle: wanting to wash your troubles away but realizing you might have to leave the house wearing a bedsheet! 😅👗🧺
I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.
Commentary:
Why do we keep those boxes? Are we secretly hoping to use them as tiny condos for our chargers? 📦📱😂