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Funny prison quotes

Trending Funny Prison Quotes 🔥

New funny prison quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Commentary:
"I'm not surprised, some of these posts definitely come with a 'Do Not Escape' plan! 🕵️‍♀️🚔🏃‍♂️"
2 months ago
Share →: But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Commentary:
"Well, at least he mastered the art of being a 'phone-y' criminal! 🤣📞 Behind bars but sweet on the line, quite the recipe for a modern romance novel. #SweetTalker #PrisonCharm 😏"
4 months ago
Share →: I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Commentary:
Oh, searching for a cell mate over a soulmate, huh? 🤣 Who needs love when you can have a bunk buddy, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ Just make sure to keep those prison phone calls to a minimum! 🤪 #CellMateGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Commentary:
"Who needs distractions when you have bench presses, am I right? 💪🏋️‍♂️ Prison, the ultimate fitness boot camp! 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Commentary:
"Drinking all this water just to end up in the same place you started… 😅💧🚽 It's like a cosmic joke, isn't it? Welcome to Planet Earth: the ultimate hydration paradox!"
5 months ago
Share →: I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're preparing for a potential stint in the big house, huh? 🤣🏛️ Just remember, life in prison isn't all movie marathons and popcorn – but hey, at least you'll have some stellar Shawshank Redemption quotes ready to go! 🍿#LifeGoals #PrisonPrep
5 months ago
Share →: As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"
5 months ago
Share →: If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Commentary:
Well, if you're an introvert, your alibi might just be your cat… who won't testify in court! 🙊🐱 #IntrovertStruggles #CatAlibiDefense
5 months ago
Share →: My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Commentary:
"Oh, the adventures my passport was expecting… only to end up confined within the walls of boredom and routine! 🌏🛂 #PassportProbz #LockedUpButNotLockedDown"
5 months ago
Share →: Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Commentary:
"Seems like this person is aspiring to be the reigning king of 'Where's my hug?' requests – in the least ideal location possible! 🙅‍♂️🤣 Maybe it's time to reconsider their life choices before diving into the world of prison etiquette! 🔒😅"