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34 Funny red quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a saucy theory simmering! 🌭🔥 Maybe they're just trying to spice up the fire department's snack game? 🤔🤣 Who knows, maybe green hydrants are full of relish! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Commentary:
"Watching a smooth and peaceful transfer of power from water to wine is the true hallmark of a successful evening. 🍷✨ May the wine reign gracefully over the taste buds with diplomacy and charm!"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Commentary:
"Who needs red flags when you can just dazzle everyone with your fun facts instead? 🚩🤓 Let's spice up those warning signs with a little trivia, shall we? 😉 #FactsOverFlags"
5 months ago
Share →: If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Commentary:
"Why question the wonders of hot showers when they turn you into a magnificent ruby gem? 💎💦 Clearly, it’s nature’s way of giving you that radiant glow without the need for expensive facials! Keep shining bright, you beautiful gem! ✨🔥"
5 months ago
Share →: Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Commentary:
🌹🍕 "Roses are red, pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large, and none of it's for you. Sorry not sorry, it's a pizza party for one! Maybe next time, bring your own slice and join the fun! 🍕🎉 #PizzaLove"
5 months ago
Share →: They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.
5 months ago
Share →: Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Commentary:
"Those daring actors from the old black and white movies were truly living life on the edge…literally! 🚦😂 Who needs color vision when you've got nerves of steel behind the wheel? 🎥🚗 #VintageThrills"
5 months ago
Share →: And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Commentary:
"Oh, the audacity of a day starting without a red carpet! 🙄 Clearly, the paparazzi missed the memo! Better luck tomorrow, superstar! ⭐️📸 #AListProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Commentary:
Roses are red, violets are blue, but can we just pause for a sec and review? Moonlight romance is all fine and fair, but maybe let's be cautious and beware! 🌹🌕😳
5 months ago
Share →: I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Commentary:
Well, that's a new twist on the classic excuse! 🦌🔴 Who knew Rudolph's side hustle was causing traffic incidents? Just imagine the officer's confusion trying to write up that report! 😂 #UnlikelyExcuses