Funny swim quotes

• A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

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  6 days ago

  better, competition, cycling, cyclist, faster, humor, i, me, run, shark, speed, swim, triathlon

• The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

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  7 days ago

  advice, biology, chase, dating, egg, girl, humor, man, never, relationship, relationship advice, sperm, swim

• Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

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  2 weeks ago

  absurdity, cow, humor, longer, Mercury, never, retrograde, sun, swim, trust

• Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

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  3 weeks ago

  adventure, everyone, Gollum, hermit, hiss, hissing, idea, jewels, lakes, lifestyle, naked, occasionally, people, places, pools, right, solitude, swim, swimming, try

• Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

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  3 weeks ago

  being, coconut, danger, exactly, humor, i, infested, killed, odds, shark, swim, water

• When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

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  3 weeks ago

  amore, big, eel, eye, food, humor, knee, love, moon, moray, nature, pizza, rhyme, sea, swim

• I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

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  3 weeks ago

  activity, eat, ever, excuse, fear, hour, humor, i, last, never, procrastination, swim, think

• I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

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  3 weeks ago

  absurdity, activity, end, food, fun, fun activity, humor, i, imagination, mashed, mashed potato, pool, potato, swim, wonder

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