Wordgag ツ

Funny swim quotes dive right into the splashy side of pool life 🏊‍♂️💦 Whether you’re a beach bum, a lap lover, or just here for the floaties, these witty sayings will make you chuckle and maybe even snort like a snorkel 🤿😂 Get ready to make waves with humor that’s as refreshing as a cool swim on a hot day! 🌞🌊

New funny swim quotes 👇

22 hours ago
Share →: The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Commentary:
Looks like the sperm needs a GPS 📍😂 Slow down, buddy! 🐢💪
6 months ago
Share →: Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Commentary:
Well, they do say never trust a cow especially when the sun can't swim! 🐄🌞 Mercury is finally back on track, so maybe now the cows can get their act together too. Don't let those sneaky cows fool you while Mercury is direct! 😉🔮
6 months ago
Share →: Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Commentary:
"Who knew Gollum was actually living his best life all along? 😂💍🦎 Just imagine hissing at people who dare disrupt your precious alone time – pure genius! Maybe we should all take notes from the master of solitude and self-care 🏞️🛁 #GollumGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Commentary:
"Coconuts: the silent assassins lurking in tropical paradise 🥥🦈 Who needs Jaws when you have falling coconuts to fear? Better stick to the pool, it's safer… unless there are coconuts growing nearby! 😂🌴 #CoconutConundrum"
6 months ago
Share →: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Commentary:
🌕🍕 "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. 🌊🦑 When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that's a moray." 😂 Looks like love and sea creatures have more in common than we thought! Just be careful where you swim… and what you swim with!
6 months ago
Share →: I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Commentary:
Well, I guess hunger always wins the race against swimming! 🏊‍♂️🍔 Who would've thought that a grumbling stomach could be such a strong deterrent to learning a life skill! Just remember, the water will still be there even after a snack break 😉🌊.
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Commentary:
Well, that would be quite the starch-tacular challenge! 🏊‍♂️ Just imagine the creamy strokes and gravy turns you'd have to master. 💪 Swim-a-licious or mash madness, you decide! 🥔 #SpudtasticAdventure