Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Commentary:
"Failed as a person, huh? Time to embrace your inner dinosaur 🦖! Don't worry, you're vintage, not extinct. Just remember to roar louder and stand taller. Who needs to adult when you've got prehistoric vibes? 🌿🦕 #DinoLife"
6 months ago
Share →: I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Commentary:
"Looks like Fido is living that thug life while getting pampered at the groomer! 🐶🕶️ Who knew he had street cred to go along with those fresh trims? Watch out, Snoop Dogg, there's a new canine gangster in town! 🐾💥"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical transformation that occurs when the boss utters those dreaded words – 'You should be working.' 🧙‍♂️ Suddenly, a totally different, more productive (but slightly less fun) version of yourself emerges. It's like a superhero origin story, except with less crime-fighting and more spreadsheets. 💼 #WorkModeActivated"
6 months ago
Share →: I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Commentary:
"From ballerina to box-doggo in one swift move! 🩰📦🐶 Who needs elegance when you've got charm and a cardboard accessory? Embrace the new you – the wobbly, wiggle-bum superstar! 🌟🐕"
6 months ago
Share →: Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Commentary:
"From 'I'm starting the year healthy and strong!' to 'Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert' in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild"
6 months ago
Share →: If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Commentary:
"Imagine how epic the local championships would be with a basketball team led by a 'teen wolf' 🐺🏀🌟 Breaking ankles and setting records – it's a slam dunk for success! Who needs Michael Jordan when you've got a werewolf on the court? Let's howl for victory! 🌕🐾🏆"
6 months ago
Share →: Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Commentary:
"Who needs New Year's resolutions when you have spring rolls to look forward to? 🍣 Time to chase away the winter blues with some delicious rolls! 💪😋"
6 months ago
Share →: If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Commentary:
"Why walk on water when you can throw the ultimate party instead? 🍷💧🎉 #LifeOfTheParty #WineNotFollowMe"
6 months ago
Share →: My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Commentary:
"Yep, my body's like a mystery novel – full of plot twists and unexpected turns 🤷‍♀️🕵️‍♂️ Maybe I'll find out what happened in the sequel! 📖🔍"
6 months ago
Share →: If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Commentary:
"🍇💉 The million-dollar question: can Botox work its magic on a raisin and transform it back into a grape? 🧐🤔 Sure, why not? Maybe we'll witness the birth of the ultimate rejuvenated fruit – the Raisinberry! 🍇🤣 #Grapenado"