Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Commentary:
"Love knows no boundaries… or bathroom doors apparently! 🚪🚿❤️But hey, at least it's the thought that counts, right? 😅 #LoveIsUnexpected"
6 months ago
Share →: My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Commentary:
"Attempting the intricate steps of the 'Avoiding Self-Sabotage Shuffle' like a pro! 💃🕺 Who needs salsa or tango when you've mastered the art of dodging your own obstacles? 😅 #DanceMoves #SelfAwareness"
6 months ago
Share →: He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Commentary:
"Rest in peace, brave tickle investigator. 🕵️‍♂️ May your quest for gang members' ticklish spots tickle their hearts forever. 😂 #TickleMyFunnyBone"
6 months ago
Share →: If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Commentary:
"Note to self: Bears are not fluffy cuddle buddies 🐻 Better stick to petting kittens next time, much safer and less likely to end up as a woodland creature's lunch! 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joy of adulthood: constantly feeling tired, yet wide awake the moment you hit the bed 🛌💤 It's like our brains enjoy playing hide and seek with sleep! 😅 #AdultingProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Commentary:
"Looks like the only cure for a cold is a heavy dose of tea and a sprinkle of British charm! 🍵🇬🇧 Who knew a sore throat could make you start curtsying to inanimate objects and asking for crumpets? Let's hope the Queen doesn't invite you for high tea anytime soon!" 😄👑
6 months ago
Share →: Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: Cake or Not Cake? 🎂🔪 Either way, it seems my client was driven by a dessert dilemma rather than a criminal intent, Your Honor! 😅 #CakeOrStab"
6 months ago
Share →: Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Commentary:
"Oh, absolutely! Just a connoisseur of fine craftsmanship, not a purveyor of geekiness or weirdness. 🤓🪚 Japan has definitely nailed it when it comes to wood joinery! 🌸🏯 #WoodYouBelieveIt"
6 months ago
Share →: Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Commentary:
🍑🔥 "Well, who knew your rear end was such a hot commodity! 😉🚓 Better watch out for any 'hot' pursuits now – literally! Stay sizzling, mate!" 🔥🍑
6 months ago
Share →: I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Commentary:
🌿♻️ Leonardo DiCaprio's eco-friendly efforts are not just for Mother Earth, but possibly to secure potential dating options for the future! 🌎💚 Who knows, maybe he's hoping to impress some environmentally conscious prospects with his environmental activism! 😉 #EcoFriendlyLoveGoals