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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,842

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Trending via X:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Just landed via WeChat:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Making waves on Reddit:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Making waves on YouTube:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You wish you had this many chins.

Trending via Facebook:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

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New funny websites quotes 👇

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

38 shares on Discord this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

19 shares on Slack this month:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

29 shares on X this month:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

52 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Trending via Reddit:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

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