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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1838 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,000

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,000

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Dear Santa, Money!

Shared recently on Twitch:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Trending via X:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Reported on Slack:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Spotted on Telegram:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1838 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,000

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,000

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Seen just now on Slack:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Live now on Instagram:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Reported on Threads:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Spotted on Twitch:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

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