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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Seen just now on Threads:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Trending via Threads:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Making waves on Messenger:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Just shared via Messenger:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Going bananas on Reddit:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

39 Funny wedding quotes

More funny wedding quotes 👇

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

2 weeks ago

done, flower, flower girl, girl, home, humor, kids, planning, Uber, wedding, wedding planning
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

2 weeks ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

2 weeks ago

confetti, destination, dollar, heavy, humor, luggage, palm, palm tree, party, Serengeti, store, travel, tree, trees, tux, vomit, wedding
Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

2 weeks ago

bouquet, caught, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, unexpected, wedding
I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

2 weeks ago

apology, commitment, forward, humor, i, relationship, sorry, vows, wedding, work, working
Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

2 weeks ago

celebration, enough, event, humor, marriage, object, people, speaking, statistic, statistically, wedding
Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

2 weeks ago

activity, cake, celebration, fun, fun activity, going, humor, important, important things, life, me, things, wedding
A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

2 weeks ago

after, Cinderella, complain, complaint, having, humor, husband, marriage, months, sh, too, wedding
I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

3 weeks ago

activity, attention, dress, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jog, need, self-expression, unexpected, unique, web, wedding, wedding dress
Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

3 weeks ago

celebration, drank, friendship, humor, i, just, last, love, man, much, night, party, reach, reach out, say, wanted, wedding

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All funny wedding quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I put the mess in domestic.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Just landed via WeChat:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Going viral on Facebook:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Going viral on Slack:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Broadcasted on Telegram:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Seen just now on Slack:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Activity Log ✨

39 Funny wedding quotes

More funny wedding quotes 👇

All funny wedding quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨