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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Going bananas on Slack:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Just landed via Facebook:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Live now on Instagram:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Live now on X:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

14 Funny wellness quotes

Funny wellness quotes bring a burst of laughter to your self-care routine 🌟😄! They remind us that staying healthy doesn’t have to be all serious — sometimes a little humor is the best medicine 🧘‍♀️😂. Whether you’re sweating through yoga or sipping green juice, these witty words will brighten your day and boost your mood 💪🍵. Get ready to smile and feel fabulous, one chuckle at a time! 🎉✨

New funny wellness quotes 👇

For even more funny wellness quotes, hit next 👇

All funny wellness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Trending via Snapchat:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Trending via Messenger:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

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