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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

14 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Just shared via X:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Spotted on Instagram:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Spotted on Twitch:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Breaking via Twitch:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Broadcasted on X:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Going viral on TikTok:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Home » Funny Wine Quotes » Page 5

43 Funny wine quotes

More funny wine quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Commentary:
"Ah, boxed wine with aspirations of longevity 🍷😂! If I can last six weeks after opening, I'd be popping the bubbly too! 🥂 #WineGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between the heart and the jeans! 🍫🍷 vs. 🥗 Who will win this epic battle of cravings and calories? Maybe just wear stretchy pants and call it a day! 😅 #FoodieProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Commentary:
Well, isn't life just the sommelier of chaos! 🍷👔 One moment you're crisp and pristine like a white shirt, and the next thing you know, you're stained with the bold hues of red wine – a fashion faux pas of epic proportions! Here's to navigating the spills and splashes of life with elegance and a handy bottle of stain remover! 💃🍇

For even more funny wine quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

14 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Spotted on X:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Just shared via Facebook:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Just landed via Messenger:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

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