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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Going viral on X:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Spotted on YouTube:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Just landed via Reddit:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Going viral on Instagram:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Just shared via Pinterest:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to insult me? Please, I already beat you to it in the mirror this morning! 💁‍♂️😂 #SelfRoast"

confidence, earlier, humor, i, insult, insulting, me, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, wit, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

0

2 months ago

antidepressant, baby, baby name, humor, i, irony, later, learn, mom, name, naming, new, new mom, only, parenting, pick, try, unique, unique name, wonder
I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

0

5 months ago

acceptable, angry, ball, choose, everyone, fast, fast internet, gone, hot, humor, i, internet, night, nocturnal, norms, quiet, shut, silence, sky, social, social norms, socially, sun, understand, why
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

0

2 months ago

behavior, early, flight, going, humor, irony, late, late night, mood, naturally, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, room, schedule, self-deprecating, sleep, sleep schedule, stay, tomorrow, tonight, weird, weird behavior
I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

0

2 months ago

bed, cozy, humans, i, lay, life, love, meant, relationship, romance, snuggle, think, winter
Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

0

4 months ago

comeback, homeless, homeless man, house, house key, humor, i, insult, interaction, irony, just, key, keys, loser, man, me, social, social interaction
I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

0

2 months ago

dumping, except, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, oversharing, person, private, private person, public, social, social media, trauma, trauma dumping

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

29 shares on Slack this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

74 shares on X this month:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

47 shares on Slack this month:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Breaking via TikTok:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Just landed via Instagram:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Seen just now on Slack:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨