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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Breaking via Reddit:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Making waves on X:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Live now on Reddit:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Live now on Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Trending via TikTok:

Body by sandwich.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

3 days ago

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Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️‍♂️💨

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Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Going viral on WeChat:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Shared recently on Threads:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Breaking via TikTok:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Going viral on Reddit:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Going viral on Messenger:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

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I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

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I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

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