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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Making waves on Telegram:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Live now on Messenger:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Live now on X:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Going viral on Twitch:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Going viral on Messenger:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Just landed via YouTube:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Going viral on Discord:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Seen just now on Threads:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

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Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.
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Commentary:
Smiles can be deceiving; sometimes they're just imagining you as a human campfire! 🔥😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

89 shares on Threads this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

43 shares on X this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Live now on Snapchat:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Going viral on Threads:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Just shared via Twitch:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

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