Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,813

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Spotted on Messenger:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

22 shares on X this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Spotted on TikTok:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Trending via Pinterest:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Going viral on YouTube:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Just shared via YouTube:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Shared recently on Threads:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

My default setting is sexual energy.

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨