Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,964

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Spotted on Slack:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Spotted on Slack:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on X this month:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

51 shares on X this month:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

14 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Just landed via Discord:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Trending via Slack:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Seen just now on WeChat:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Trending via Discord:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Live now on Messenger:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Breaking via Facebook:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨