Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,881

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Breaking via Instagram:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Going viral on Reddit:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Making waves on Reddit:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Freshly posted on X:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

More funny quotes 👇

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

0

5 months ago

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish
Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

0

5 months ago

account, days, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, motivation, routine, row, workout
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

0

5 months ago

always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood
Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

0

5 months ago

accurate, amazing, bleeding, expense, finance, humor, money, sarcasm
Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

0

5 months ago

behavior, cult, humor, introvert, making, only, side eye, silence, sit, social, social behavior, suspicion
No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, dirty, dirty talk, every, hope, humor, i, insult, revenge, someone, stutter, talk, time, try
The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

0

5 months ago

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website
Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

0

5 months ago

compassion, failure, humor, ideology, politics, socialism, work, wrong
Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

0

5 months ago

anticipation, communication, couple, couples, humor, i, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, wait, waiting

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Seen just now on Discord:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Just shared via TikTok:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Trending via Reddit:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Seen just now on Discord:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨