Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,899

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Going viral on Messenger:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Just shared via Facebook:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Just shared via Telegram:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Making waves on Facebook:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Spotted on X:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

More funny quotes 👇

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

0

5 months ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

0

5 months ago

believe, cake, cartoons, harder, hole, lot, steal, table
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

0

5 months ago

after, anxiety, asking, communication, hit, i, myself, overthinking, self-doubt, send, social, social anxiety, texting, too, weird, weirdness
I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

0

5 months ago

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time
I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

0

5 months ago

exercise, fitness, focus, gym, humor, i, jail, prison, should, workout
I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

0

5 months ago

cleaning, closet, discovery, distraction, found, humor, i, looking, organise, procrastination, tidying, tidying up
The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

0

5 months ago

humor, just, me, midnight, money, night, night owl, online, online shopping, owl, real, shopping, shopping spree, spending, spree
Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

0

5 months ago

fabulous, forest, forest ghost, ghost, Halloween, hauntingly, hauntingly fabulous, humor, inner, lost, self-expression, spooky
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

5 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

0

5 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

67 shares on Slack this month:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

35 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

47 shares on Slack this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Broadcasted on X:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Spotted on Threads:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Going bananas on Discord:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨