Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Trending via Pinterest:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Just landed via Messenger:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Live now on Reddit:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Trending via Twitch:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

More funny quotes 👇

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

0

5 months ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology
Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

0

5 months ago

activity, behavior, business, humor, minding, minding business, own, personal, personal space, sarcasm, social, social behavior, space, unpopular, unpopular activity
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

5 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

0

5 months ago

brother, doing, harder, humor, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, smarter, things, work
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

0

5 months ago

boy, boys, cool, humor, joke, me, milkshake, reach, shelf, top, top shelf, yard
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

0

5 months ago

allowed, celebrity, child, child name, children, culture, humor, name, naming, parenting, pop, pop culture, should
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

0

5 months ago

acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world
Work beers should be a daily thing.

0

5 months ago

beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on X this month:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

59 shares on Threads this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

84 shares on Messenger this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Just shared via Discord:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Going bananas on X:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Live now on Snapchat:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Spotted on X:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨