Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Breaking via X:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Live now on Instagram:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Shared recently on TikTok:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Spotted on Slack:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Shared recently on Reddit:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Going viral on Discord:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Shared recently on Threads:

Cool times create cool guys.

More funny quotes 👇

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

0

7 days ago

choice, confidence, humor, luck, me, outcome, things, unfortunately, work
Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

0

7 days ago

ask, client, clients, hard, health, humor, mental, mental health, obsession, over, people, picture, pictures, psychology, struggle, therapist
The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

0

7 days ago

AI, jobs, less, smarter, wants
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

0

7 days ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon
Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

0

7 days ago

AI, chatbot, design, every, funny observation, graphic, graphic design, humor, logo, observation, tech, tech humor, why
What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

0

7 days ago

90s, 90s movie, Christmas, Christmas party, corporate, corporate party, culture, exist, holiday, holiday party, huge, movie, nostalgia, office, office culture, party, seems
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

0

7 days ago

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks
Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

0

7 days ago

dating, easily, humor, i, joke, meet, meet up, men, plan, relationship, sacrifice, too, want, warning
Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

0

7 days ago

baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay
Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

0

7 days ago

5, book, bro, humor, irony, last, obsession, read, reading, storytelling, tech, tech bro

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

66 shares on Slack this month:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

66 shares on X this month:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

77 shares on Slack this month:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Just shared via YouTube:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Going viral on Threads:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Making waves on Twitch:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Just shared via X:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨