Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Going viral on Threads:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Making waves on Facebook:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Just landed via X:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

More funny quotes 👇

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

0

7 days ago

elder, game, gaming, generation, nostalgia, reverence, video, video game, Wii, Zoomer
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

0

7 days ago

activity, communication, conversation, enjoy, enjoyment, getting, having, humor, i, listening, passive, passive activity, podcast
Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

0

7 days ago

access, bad, bad music, driver, drivers, ever, humor, joke, music, music taste, ride, ride share, secret, service, share, streaming, streaming service, taste, Uber, Uber driver, worst
I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

0

7 days ago

90, American, Americans, conversion, day, dramatic, dramatics, found, humor, i, just, kilogram, measurement, pound, weight
(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

0

7 days ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking
Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

0

7 days ago

boss, boss-in-law, humor, joke, relationship, wife, wordplay, workplace
Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

0

7 days ago

always, anywhere, around, driving, guys, humor, joke, mad, Mad Max, max, post-apocalyptic, travel, why
Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

0

7 days ago

game, games, getting, girlfriend, humor, life, once, pandemic, quitting, real, relationship, social, social life, video, video game
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

0

7 days ago

clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

7 days ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

92 shares on X this month:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

82 shares on X this month:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Shared recently on Discord:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Just shared via Instagram:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨