Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,082

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Spotted on Discord:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Breaking via YouTube:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Freshly posted on X:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Spotted on YouTube:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

More funny quotes 👇

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

0

5 months ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

0

5 months ago

believe, cake, cartoons, harder, hole, lot, steal, table
Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

0

5 months ago

after, anxiety, asking, communication, hit, i, myself, overthinking, self-doubt, send, social, social anxiety, texting, too, weird, weirdness
I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

0

5 months ago

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time
I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

0

5 months ago

exercise, fitness, focus, gym, humor, i, jail, prison, should, workout
I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

0

5 months ago

cleaning, closet, discovery, distraction, found, humor, i, looking, organise, procrastination, tidying, tidying up
The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

0

5 months ago

humor, just, me, midnight, money, night, night owl, online, online shopping, owl, real, shopping, shopping spree, spending, spree
Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

0

5 months ago

fabulous, forest, forest ghost, ghost, Halloween, hauntingly, hauntingly fabulous, humor, inner, lost, self-expression, spooky
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

5 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

0

5 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

50 shares on Slack this month:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Trending via YouTube:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Trending via Reddit:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Going viral on X:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Making waves on WeChat:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨