Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I have a yearning disability.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Making waves on Instagram:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Making waves on WeChat:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Live now on Threads:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

More funny quotes 👇

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

0

5 months ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology
Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

0

5 months ago

activity, behavior, business, humor, minding, minding business, own, personal, personal space, sarcasm, social, social behavior, space, unpopular, unpopular activity
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

5 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

0

5 months ago

brother, doing, harder, humor, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, smarter, things, work
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

0

5 months ago

boy, boys, cool, humor, joke, me, milkshake, reach, shelf, top, top shelf, yard
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

0

5 months ago

allowed, celebrity, child, child name, children, culture, humor, name, naming, parenting, pop, pop culture, should
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

0

5 months ago

acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world
Work beers should be a daily thing.

0

5 months ago

beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work
The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad singer, community, heart, humor, music, passion, people, self-expression, sing, singer, singing

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

70 shares on Discord this month:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Trending via Reddit:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Making waves on Messenger:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Seen just now on WeChat:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Trending via Slack:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨