Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Just landed via Twitch:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Trending via TikTok:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Going viral on Reddit:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living that pajama princess life! 👑😴 #SlumberQueen"

am, casual, clothes, comfort, fact, fashion, humor, i, lot, person, personality, self-deprecation, sleep, sleepwear, wardrobe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

3 months ago

caution, humor, Monday, motivation, warning, weekday, workday
It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

3 months ago

body, candy, chip, chips, cookie, diet, essential, food, found, fuel, humor, important, nutrient, snack
I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

2 months ago

always, closet, day, enter, fear, head, house, humor, i, irony, thief, things, unconscious
Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

2 months ago

biting, decades, eating, even, example, experience, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, mistake, perfect, screw, screw up, still, tongue, tongue biting, while
Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

2 months ago

awkwardness, breast, breast milk, childhood, confession, conversation, drinking, drunk, humor, i, me, milk, mom, parent-child, talking, time
Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

6 months ago

actually, attraction, communication, crush, dating, easy, flirting, humor, love, nervousness, relationship, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

13 shares on X this month:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

25 shares on Instagram this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Just landed via YouTube:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Just shared via WeChat:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Spotted on Slack:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Spotted on Slack:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Broadcasted on X:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Just landed via Instagram:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨