Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Trending via Telegram:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Making waves on Messenger:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Breaking via WeChat:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

More funny quotes 👇

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

0

1 month ago

bed, coffee, daily, daily life, day, enough, humor, i, laziness, life, morning, morning routine, relaxation, routine, simple, simple life, start, start of day, think, woke
Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

0

1 month ago

baby, every, family, hours, humor, humor quote, i, joke, love, newborn, parenting, whisper
The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

0

1 month ago

after, attitude, bathroom, concern, confidence, drops, embarrassment, even, humor, lion, masculinity, pee, shake, shower, small, sure, urinal
That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

0

1 month ago

break, cancel, canceled, free, free time, gift, gods, humor, meeting, ping, relief, surprise, time, unexpected
The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

0

1 month ago

anything, apathy, attitude, carefree, concern, confidence, days, humor, lion, much, relaxation
GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

0

1 month ago

conservation, environment, gaming, GTA6, humor, restoration, satire, should, streams, wetland, work
The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

0

1 month ago

cancellation, dopamine, fun, getting, hit, humor, irony, meeting, office, outlook, relief, work
Friends with consequences.

0

1 month ago

consequence, consequences, friend, friends, friendship, humor, joke
I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

0

1 month ago

comfort, distraction, horrors, humor, humor quote, i, life, mind, myself, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief, sweet, sweet treat, today, treat
Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, irony, love, mate, relationship, search, seeking, soul

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Discord this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

64 shares on X this month:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Making waves on Threads:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Making waves on Twitch:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Going viral on Facebook:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Trending via Slack:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Just landed via Reddit:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Spotted on Threads:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨