Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Just landed via Telegram:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Spotted on Facebook:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Guess I'm in a permanent group project with the universe 🤔🤦‍♂️ #RaisedByDPs"

born, forced, frustration, group, group work, hell, humor, interaction, irony, office, office humor, raised, sarcasm, sarcastic, say, social, social interaction, stupid, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

0

2 months ago

awkward, engagement, funny situation, guy, humor, man, me, proposal, public, relationship, seeing, situation, woman
Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

0

2 months ago

end, harsh, humor, let, lighthearted, lol, me, put, sarcasm
Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

0

2 months ago

acting, animal, animal prank, big, closet, clothes, clothing, costume, crawl, humor, impersonation, insect, last, me, night, prank, saw, spider, trying, wardrobe
May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

0

2 months ago

force, humor, meeting, meetings, Monday, motivation, star, Star Wars, wars, work
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, asked, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, conversation, conversation fail, elevator, elevator ride, fail, failures, guy, hell, hotel, hotel elevator, humor, i, just, me, moment, ride, said, silence, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, today, too, us, well
My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

0

1 week ago

Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, favorite, house, i, kid, kids, Santa, spotless, tell, tradition, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on TikTok this month:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

26 shares on X this month:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Breaking via Telegram:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Going viral on Discord:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Just shared via Slack:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Going viral on TikTok:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Making waves on X:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Just landed via Messenger:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨