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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I am thick and tired.

Trending via YouTube:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Breaking via TikTok:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Seen just now on Slack:

Never trust a wet fart.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Just shared via Telegram:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Seen just now on YouTube:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

55 Funny account quotes

More funny account quotes 👇

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

1 week ago

account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media
Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

1 week ago

account, bank, bank account, ever, financial, financial joy, great, humor, joy, money, sex, surprise
The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

1 week ago

account, bank, bank account, care, humor, indulgence, money, phrase, ruined, self, self-care, spending, treat, treat yourself, waistline, yourself
I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

1 week ago

account, after, bank, bank account, checking, finance, fun, good, hate, having, humor, i, money, regret, spending, time
Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

1 week ago

account, aspiration, balance, being, difficulty, envy, expectations, financial, financial difficulty, financial envy, having, house, house shopping, houses, humor, humor about money, i, kitchen, lifestyle, luxury, me, million, money, priorities, property, sarcasm, shopping, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, worth, zero
Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

1 week ago

account, actually, bank, bank account, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, money, okay, rude, sarcasm, spend, spending
Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

1 week ago

20, account, exclusivity, followers, girl, girls, hot, hot girl, humor, Instagram, media, private, private account, social, social media
I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

1 week ago

account, anxiety, attack, bank, bank account, financial, financial stress, humor, i, me, money, panic, panic attack, personification, stress, wonder
Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

1 week ago

account, bank, bank account, budgeting, camping, Europe, financial, going, humor, me, planning, summer, summer vacation, travel, travel planning, vacation
I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

1 week ago

account, advice, bank, financial, financial humor, humor, i, joke, life, life advice, life motto, living, money, motto, need, short, spending, stop, words

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All funny account quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

64 shares on X this month:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

77 shares on X this month:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Shared recently on Slack:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Live now on X:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Broadcasted on X:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Trending via TikTok:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Going viral on Telegram:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Activity Log ✨

55 Funny account quotes

More funny account quotes 👇

All funny account quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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