22 Funny achievement quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  View →: You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.
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  3 months ago

  View →: There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.
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  3 months ago

  View →: You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.
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  4 months ago

  View →: THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.
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  5 months ago

  View →: 12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

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