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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Making waves on Facebook:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Going viral on YouTube:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Spotted on Discord:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Spotted on Telegram:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Just landed via Threads:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

3 weeks ago

anything, customer, customer service, death, else, fast, fast food, food, humor, McDonald’s, minute, service, wait
I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

3 weeks ago

anything, going, hell, humor, joke, need, needs, sarcasm
Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

3 weeks ago

anything, descent, existential, humor, madness, request, want
I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

3 weeks ago

Amazon, anything, claws, convenience, humor, i, opening, package, reality, violence, want, Wolverine
If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

3 weeks ago

anything, communication, confusion, experience, humor, information, inquiry, know, knowledge, knows, let, me, something
On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

3 weeks ago

adventure, anything, fantasy, humor, journey, Mordor, need, nerd, quest
Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

3 weeks ago

anything, birthday, celebration, expectations, gift, government, humor, irony, knows, me, never
Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

3 weeks ago

after, anything, appetizer, eat, eating, food, humor, logic, meal, portions, snack
Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

3 weeks ago

anything, boundary, food, good, humor, i, love, lyrics, means, meatloaf, music, music reference, reference, relationship, safe, safe word, word
My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

3 weeks ago

anything, expectations, humor, i, identity, me, parents, self-deprecation, told, unacceptable, wanted

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All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

86 shares on X this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

96 shares on Discord this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

80 shares on Threads this month:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Trending via Twitch:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Live now on Telegram:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Going viral on Twitch:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Seen just now on Discord:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Trending via Reddit:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Activity Log ✨

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨