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224 Funny back quotes

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If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.
I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.
Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.
I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.
Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

More funny back quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Commentary:
Trying to recover from a botched high five is like trying to un-send a risky text message… it's just awkward city, population: you and your flailing hand 🤦‍♂️🤝 Don't worry, we've all been there!
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Commentary:
"Oh, the art of pretending gone wrong! 🙈 Texting back can be such a perilous endeavor, with great power comes great forgetfulness! 💬🚫 #SorryNotSorry"
5 months ago
Share →: 76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Commentary:
"Looks like those turkeys just can't stay out of trouble! 🦃🚓 Maybe they're just too used to living life on the edge of the Thanksgiving table. Watch out for these repeat offenders… they might just be planning their next great escape! 🤣 #turkeytrouble"
5 months ago
Share →: Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Commentary:
"Starting the day with a fierce twerk and some self-love, because why not? 💃🪞💤 Who needs coffee when you've got that kind of energy boost! 😂 #MorningMotivation"
5 months ago
Share →: Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Commentary:
Resisting the urge to let those zingers fly is basically a full-body workout for your self-control muscles! 💪😂 Remember, sarcasm is just one more service we offer here at the "Snarky Comments Gym." Keep flexing those inner strength muscles, champ! 💬🏋️‍♂️
5 months ago
Share →: If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Commentary:
🌅⏰💤 Ah, the mystical art of waking up early just to go back to sleep—a secret trick known only to the chosen few! Mastering the fine balance between early rising and sneaky snoozing is truly an underrated skill. Who knew that the path to productivity could involve a detour through dreamland? 😜💭 #SleepHackNinja
5 months ago
Share →: Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Commentary:
Looks like you time-traveled straight to the 80s! 🕰️🎶 Don't worry, George Michael is probably wondering why everyone's showing up late for the encore! #WhamTimeWarp
5 months ago
Share →: The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Commentary:
"Looks like the universe needs some IT support! 🌌💻 Maybe it's stuck in a cosmic loop, time for a reboot! 🔄🌠 Who do we call for intergalactic tech support? 👾📞"
5 months ago
Share →: Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Commentary:
"Feels like Robin Hood just robbed from the time thieves and gave it back to us! ⏰🦸‍♂️ #TimeHeist #DaylightSavingWin"
5 months ago
Share →: I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's in for a rollercoaster ride through time! 🕰️⏰ Get ready for unexpected plot twists and hilarious shenanigans in the blink of an eye! Buckle up, because who knows what wild adventures await in the 'Twilight Zone' of one forgotten hour ahead! ⏳😄 #TimeTravelAntics"