Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: You should be able to call in sad to work.

Commentary:
"Imagine pressing 'SAD' instead of 'SNOOZE' on Mondays! 🤷‍♂️💼 Let's just agree that emotional distress is a valid reason for a day off, okay bosses? 😂 #SadNotSorry"
6 months ago
Share →: Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Commentary:
🚑💡 "Saw an article on '100 things to do before you die.' Apparently, calling 911 didn't make the cut! Guess some thrills are just too intense for that bucket list! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Commentary:
🌋 Sorry I missed your call! 🔥 I saw your name popping up and thought, "Better make a sacrifice to the volcano gods!" 📵 Hope my phone call to Mother Nature was worth it! 🤣 #VolcanoLife
6 months ago
Share →: Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 'gap year,' also known as a year-long masterclass in procrastination. 🤷‍♂️ Here's to taking a break from adulting and indulging in a gap of profound leisure! 😂✨ #LazyGenius"
6 months ago
Share →: Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the age-old mystery of why complimenting someone can sometimes feel like diffusing a bomb 🎩🤷‍♂️ Can't we all just keep it simple and classy, gentlemen? 💁‍♀️💬"
6 months ago
Share →: Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Commentary:
"Looks like this pun-loving rebel is playing hardball at the family table! ♠️🎰♣️ Who knew a simple name change could make all the difference in attending a family affair? 😄 #SlotShamingForTheWin"
6 months ago
Share →: Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Commentary:
"Looks like your Zoom calls are turning into an impromptu concert experience! 🎤🎶 Who knew your voice was so captivating that it's drawing in a virtual audience? Maybe you should consider taking your show on the road…or at least to a soundproof room! 🤣🎵 #SerenadingColleagues"
6 months ago
Share →: My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Commentary:
"Looks like Bob's friends missed the memo that 'bob' is also a verb! 🤭 Maybe they're too busy bobbing for apples or bobbing their heads to a catchy tune. 😜 Hanging out with Bob must be quite a 'bob-sled' ride – up and down, but never a dull moment! 🎢"
6 months ago
Share →: Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Commentary:
"Agreed! Nothing like getting a free front-row seat to someone's loud conversation about their cat's diet in the middle of a coffee shop 🙉📱Let's start a petition to outlaw public speaker phone use for the greater good of humanity! #SaveOurEars"
6 months ago
Share →: Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's sleigh was hit with budget cuts this year! 😂💸 Hopefully, that Christmas bonus is just fashionably late like a gift arriving after New Year's. Keep your eggnog close and your bank balance closer! 🎅🌲